It’s long but PLEASE read!!!

My husband is finishing a degree and practical placement in theology this summer. I am in my first year of a degree in another city (an hour commute away, the nearest place that runs my course).

We initially discussed moving closer to my university in the summer so it would cut down my commute and mean I can spend more time with my husband. My husband said he was happy to have a break from ministry and just have a “normal” job to enable me to complete my degree. He felt I had sacrificed a lot to enable him to do what he felt was right and so wanted to enable me to do the same. I agreed that this would make things easier for us and it fitted well with us and would give my husband a break, especially as he is having surgery in the summer and will need to recover and adjust from it.

We started to tell friends and the church family we are moving away and it was a final decision, so I started looking into jobs for him and looking for flats/ houses.

However, I had a text yesterday from him saying that he is considering a job where we live now. This was completely out of the blue. He then met with a friend and discussed this job and the implications/ why he feels God has been leading him to it.

He then came home and talked to me for half an hour about the reasons why we should stay and what he had said to his friend. I couldn’t help but feel hurt because if the lack of communication with me about OUR life and future. He also mentioned that he had been feeling uncomfortable about moving away last week, but it was the first I had heard about this. I know men tend to keep things to themselves but I felt betrayed that he didn’t tell me this. The way he talked about it made it seem like he had made his mind up and that there is NOTHING I can say to change his mind. Despite all the things that God has been showing us about this move being right. He said he was just considering it but it seemed his mind was made up.

I know that not moving will really effect what I believe God wants me to do in the future (counselling the broken) and I feel I’m finally on the right track to where I and God wants me to get to. I struggle with my mental health and knowing that we were moving was giving me hope that commuting wouldn’t last forever. I want to be a good wife and spend quality time with him where I am not exhausted. I feel moving will give me so much more energy and help me to achieve my best at university.

I want to support my husband in what he feels is right and the job here is a great opportunity for him, but I do feel a bit ignored, like my life and my calling to be a counsellor doesn’t matter as much as his does. I know we are one and need a vision together but it feels like we are on completely different pages.

How can I tell him how i feel without hurting him? And how can I rely on God to show us the right thing to do without one of us becoming upset with the outcome?

What would you do in this situation?

I am praying and seeking Gods will of course, but I need to talk to my husband about what I think/ feel soon because I haven’t responded yet to everything he said.

How can I stay calm, not stressed and have peace in this situation?