About two years ago, I was raped. I was only 15. He took so much from me. He took my ability to be fully okay with being intimate. I've gotten to the point where now I can touch myself but not without guilt and sometimes flashbacks. After almost a year and a half, I've only now have gotten comfortable enough to let him perform oral sex on me. I can't have penetrative sex with my boyfriend without extreme pain. He says it feels like I'm pushing him out. I told my doctor and she told me to talk to my therapist about it since she didn't want to do a physical exam and make things worse. My therapist told me to go back to my doctor and have a pelvic exam before she tries to treat me for my issues with intimacy. She won't even talk to me about it without "making sure I don't have something physically wrong" first. I can't seem to make myself make that appointment. I can't stand the idea of a woman I barely know conducting an exam in my personal space that I may not even need. I don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated. I just want my body back. Any tips please?