Self image?

I’ve never in my life been this self conscious with myself, I have more acne on my face than I did when I was 16, I have a double chin, I’m so damn pale I blend in with the wall, I’m not glowing at all and I feel disgusting..I actually get mad at my boyfriend for calling me beautiful because I feel like he’s a damn liar and it makes me angry: I just look in the mirror and don’t see myself, I don’t see this petite younger girl who’s skin glowed and always had some makeup on. I can barely do my hair anymore between the nausea and getting sick. I just don’t know who I am, I don’t wanna take maternity pictures, I don’t even wanna be surrounded by anyone anymore. I’m just lost.

I just needed to vent