<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">Ivf</a> has been a long emotional stressful journey to be on and after all the pricking and poking and testing one could only hope for positive results well not in my case. I just honestly feel so depressed and want to vent and who knows maybe this will help someone down the line. I started my <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">Ivf</a> journey in October 2019. My purpose for <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">Ivf</a> was to do pgd testing since my husband and I are carriers for a specific disease. During our <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">Ivf</a> journey I found out I have a very very low AMH level of .2 which for my age (25) is very surprising. Even more so surprising bc I have a three year old that was natural. So my first egg retrieval they were able to only get 5 follicles retrieved, all where fertilized but only two made it to day 5 blastocysts and were biopsied then frozen. Because I only had two good embryos I decided to do another round of <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">Ivf</a> because I felt I needed a higher chance for the embryos to not be affected with the disease. So on my next <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">Ivf</a> cycle in November I retrieved four follicles and they were all fertilized but only three made it to day 5 blastocyst which were again biopsied then frozen. After those two cycles I figured my chances for a healthy embryo would increase so I decided to send out my sample to a lab which had created a special genetic probe to test the embryos for me (btw this probe took 6-8 weeks to create!!! Talk about patience) after a long and hard wait we were told it’s finally ready to be tested which then took another two weeks for results to come back and to my luck out of five embryos I had only one embryo come back as a chromosomally normal embryo that is only a carrier of the disease so he/she wouldn’t be affected. The rest of the embryos were either chromosomally abnormal so they weren’t tested for the disease. And one came back a mosaic embryo which was also not tested for the disease. And so I decided to put all my chance and all my hope and all my prayer on my only embryo and hoped for it to be my sticky one. And so I proceeded with my transfer this month which was such a happy and exciting time I was finally getting to where I wanted to be since October. And so we proceeded with transfer which went beautifuly even the embryologist herself said it went to a beautiful spot and so here I thought it would for sure work. I thought I was already blessed to have one baby before and I gotten pregnant a year ago in October which ended up as a miscarriage but still was able to get pregnant Thankgod so here I thought this HAS to work. And so day of transfer took off of work relaxed didn’t do much, week later it was time for my bhcg my blood work came back 12.9 which anything over 5 was pregnant so naturally I was so happy that all that hard work paid off and everything was going to be okay. Until I came back two days later and my level didn’t double but increases to 15.6 I was devestated they told me to come back in another two days which was a weekend and that weekend wait was so hard for me so stressful and I still tried to remain hopeful and so I returned on Monday only to find out my level dropped to 4. Heartbroken was an understatement to how I felt. I was destroyed to think my worst night mare came true. This has just been such a heartbreaking journey for me I can only hope there is some light at the end of this dark tunnel. I can only say that I am so thankful to have my daughter because I idk what I would have done without her she is the light of my life. I can only imagine how hard it is for woman who have to go through this without having a child or knowing if they ever will, after going though something like this I can only hope and pray for all the woman and men who want to become parents so badly or want to have more kids I can only hope and pray you achieve that. God won’t give us what we can’t handle so I can only pray that this journey will be easier for others than it has been for me but even then I won’t give up and I hope you don’t either🙏🏻