My dad died 6 years ago today when I was 24. It was a sudden and tragic death and I wasn’t on the best terms with him when it happened. I still have a lot of unresolved feelings about that, because my dad was abusive to my mom when they were married and I was little, but changed after in life. Before he died he came to live with me and told me a lot of regrets he had, and issues he had been experiencing with my step mom..long story short, my dad problematic as hell but he was still my dad and he and I had *some kind of relationship*.

This is my first pregnancy and I’m struggling to cope with memories being triggered and the general ideas around the fact that my dad won’t be here to ever meet or hold my first child. ...how I’ll talk to my child about dad when they’re older, all that stuff.

Do any of you have deceased parents, and how did you cope with being triggered during pregnancy? How have you told your children if you have older kids about deceased readily members when they had problematic histories or did unkind things to you ?