I’m so scared that it will never happen for me again. When Thanksgiving comes around every year I’m scared I will have to relive those overwhelming feelings of sadness over and over again. I’m scared that when the due date comes around I will fall into the same deep depression I am working so hard to overcome. It’s only been a few months and I am trying to be strong, but I’m scared that the only thing that will ever truly help me be at peace with what happened is getting pregnant again. I was so happy and it was ripped away from me so quickly, I felt robbed of all the joy and anticipation I had just built up. I had been trying for years... I will be 37 this year and I have a beautiful 12 year old that I love so much. I never used contraception after she was born, it took 11 years to finally conceive and just like that the baby I had already fallen in love with, the child I spoke to every night, the miracle I had hoped and prayed for was suddenly gone.. I’m so scared, so sad and scared.