My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 years . we’re both 23 and still live with our parents because we’re currently saving for a place .

Anyway we constantly get into fights bc he doesn’t have boundaries with his family . We had plans for Valentine’s Day and he canceled them because his dad randomly decided to redo their kitchen himself even though he has no clue how to . He’s making my boyfriend help him which is fine but bc he has no idea what he’s doing it’s Gunna take him forever to finish it ... in other words my bf is basically gunna be doing that w his dad .

This is a constant thing the past 4 years someone in his family has some bs they need fixed or some dramatic dilema they can’t handle. For example when we’re about to leave to go somewhere they suddenly need him to go do shit..

We constantly cancel things with our friends and including a vacation we had planned .

This last fight I told him his dad is being stupid gutting a kitchen when he has no clue how to redo it himself and that he should hire someone or get someone to help him that actually knows what their doing ... anyway my boyfriend took this as me calling his dad stupid and told me he won’t speak to me unless I apologize .. which I won’t bc I didn’t do anything wrong . He also said “ you’re just my girlfriend I don’t care “ .. which made me feel like shit for wasting the past 4 years of my life w a guy who thinks I’m just a chick he’s dating ...

He hasn’t spoken to me since yesterday so it’s been like a day . We usually speak to each other constantly through out the day so it feels weird ... but I’m constantly the one apologizing and chasing him . He basically gives me the silent treatment whenever I stand up for myself or when I have a problem with something .

I don’t want to be the one to contact him this time .. Am i doing the right thing ?

Edit : he lives with his parents . I live with my mom . Q