We’ve been EXTREMELY careful to not get pregnant again. He uses condoms and I have him pull also. I use ovulation tests every day (ebf baby and haven’t ovulated since having baby). We’ve actually only had sex 3 times in the last 5 months because of my fears of getting pregnant. I’m getting my tubes removed next month (currently 5 months post partum). I haven’t had a real period yet but spotted last week and I was really stressed about it because I had implantation spotting with this last baby. I was told I cannot get pregnant again without taking a huge risk for my health which is a risk I’m not willing to take. Because of an insurance issue though, my surgery got pushed back as they had to change the “type” of tube removal they were doing so it would be covered.

I told him I wanted a pregnancy test because of the spotting and I was feeling really nauseated. It turned out negative and the nausea was actually because of mastitis.

I was so relieved and told him so and said I was happy I wouldn’t have to have an abortion.

He is so angry at me for even considering abortion 😳

I AM NOT physically capable of carrying a baby to term. My body had a horrible reaction to pregnancy that I’m not fully recovered from. My delivery was traumatic and my baby had a lengthy nicu stay. The chance of it happening again and with worse results (possible loss of life for both myself and a baby) are high.

So I told him if he was so bothered by the idea of abortion (which I honestly never want to be put in the position of having to choose anyway), then we can’t have sex until after I’ve recovered from my surgery. And now he’s even angrier 🙄. We’ve barely had sex as it is because baby doesn’t let us so I can’t understand why this is such a big deal.

I wanted our last baby so bad but this last test, I was actually sick with the fear of seeing a second pink line 😫 I honestly think I’d do something drastic if I was forced to go through another pregnancy like my last.

Just needed to vent because now I’m getting the cold shoulder. Sometimes I feel like he thinks our nonexistent potential children are more important than my health now that we’ve been told they’re not a possibility at this point. I know he’ll think about what his reaction was and apologize tomorrow, but right now I just feel hurt and angry in return.