I need someplace to vent, this story is maybe a trigger warning for some and ya a “graphic” picture. On December 17 I found out I was pregnant. This baby wasn’t planned but the minute I saw that positive pregnancy test I was so happy and this sweet baby was SO loved. I felt hesitant to telling anyone, like I had this precious secret and if it got out someone might steal my joy. I told my husband on December 20 that I was pregnant by handing him a digital pregnancy test, he was shocked and a little freaked out but when he got over the initial shock factor he was so excited. On January 22 I went in for a private ultrasound because I was DYING to see this precious baby. In the back of my head I couldn’t help but worry that something was wrong. When the ultrasound tech found my little peanut on the screen and I heard the heartbeat I was so relieved, I couldn’t believe that it was real. The ultrasound tech confirmed baby was 8 weeks and my due date would he September 2, 2020 she told me everything looked perfect! Watching the video of that precious heartbeat makes me cry every time. I read online that after an ultrasound with a confirmed heartbeat miscarriage risk drops to 2%. February 3 was my first appointment, I was so excited to get to see my baby again. To say my first appointment was a disaster would be an understatement. I told my nurse that I’d had a scan a few weeks prior and they found the baby and heard through my abdomen, she argued that it’s way to early to see baby that was that they had to do the ultrasound trans vaginal. It took her nearly 15 minutes alone to find where the baby was in my uterus and she couldn’t keep her hand steady for us to look at my sweet baby. After 30 minutes of this I could tell something wasn’t right. She then said she didn’t “think” there was a heartbeat. She left for me to get dressed and when she came in when I asked if she was positive there was no heartbeat and again she didn’t “think” there was. I booked another private ultrasound for later that day. I was devastated leaving the doctors office and now had to wait 6 hours for an answer. When I went for the second ultrasound of the day I just had a bad feeling. When I arrived at the ultrasound place I told them what was going on and they comped my appointment. They immediately confirmed my baby in fact had no heart beat and was measuring at 9 weeks 3 days when baby should’ve been 9 weeks 6 days. I was at such a loss of what to do because everything up till now other than thoughts at the back of my mind we’re okay. Tuesday morning I began spotting brown but no cramping. Yesterday I had light bleeding on and off but again nothing major. About 2am this morning I woke up with the worst cramps of my whole life. I went into the bathroom and went pee to see if it would help, so larger blood clots came out but I was still having such bad cramps so I got off the toilet and was crouching because I thought I was going to puke. While in this position a gush of fluid cane out of my vagina that was mostly all clear, I pushed and my sweet baby fell on the bathroom floor, and then a bunch of large blood clots. I could see 5 perfect fingers in each hand, toes, ribs, the umbilical cord. It was WILD. This experience was the most bizarre, scary, and heartbreaking thing I’ve ever gone through. I’m so lost on what to do next. My bleeding after the baby came out was so bad for about an hour, but eventually lighted up and now I have normal bleeding with fairly bad cramps. If you’ve made it this far reading, thank you. I just want to share my story, it’s heartbreaking to think something so tragic connects so many of us. I want to share pictures of my sweet baby I’m sorry if you don’t like it, but I need someone to share it with. I am 1 in 4