Very scared

I got pregnant when I was 34. Then had a miscarriage. I believed it was my fault because I was so emotional. A few months later I got pregnant again. I had a lot of dizzy spells but I thought it was normal. I didnt have insurance so I went to a womens pregnancy center. After about 3 months I was told that my baby was growing in my fallopian tube. It had gotten too big. They had to do emergency surgery and remove my left tube & fetus. It took about a year to heal. I'm 37 now and I dont feel sexual like I used to. We only have sex when I'm ovulating and usually it's not that much. Maybe 1-3 times a month. Sometimes, none at all. I'm feeling sad and frustrated tonight. I'm ovulating but feeling especially emotional. Every time I get my period it's a slap in my face. I guess I just needed to vent cause I'm sick of crying. What is wrong with me? Any advice on what I should do. I'm afraid if I get pregnant again, I'll bleed to death. Am I being irrational?