I have been dealing with health problems for nearly 2 years now. I have spent all my money trying to get better. I'm in debt. Everything I earn goes to trying to be healthy. My relationship is falling apart because this is my only focus. I don't care for sex. I don't care about doing anything fun because I cannot afford anything, only go to the beach and a local forest/park near my house. I love nature but I wish I could afford a new dress at least, or a pair of shoes. Anything. I feel a slave in my house and work. I find no joy in anything and I have this crippling anxiety. Sometimes I go hungry because I can't eat junk food or processed foods and my income becomes very limited to buy heathy foods. I've thought about ending it all. My dreams keep fading away. How can I make it through this rat race? How can I heal if it requires so much money? Just why. I see people splurging their hard earned money or the money they were given in trips and material things, eating out all the time, eating unhealthy and doing drugs. Meanwhile I am grasping for whatever so my body can be better. So I can get better, and it's not enough. I'm just expressing myself here since I don't have anyone to talk to. Literally nobody. I truly have no friends or acquaintances anymore because I disappeared once I started dealing with my health and I don't talk to anyone anymore. My partner is becoming tired. It's hard being poor and sick, and I struggle to find something positive on my day to day. I'm sorry for wasting your time if you ended up reading this.