I don’t know what to do 😭😭

So me & my kids dad split 3 years ago he hasn’t came to see our kids , since the girl he left me for got pregnant by him. Well anyways i been happy with my relationship with my bf he hates my kids dad. So my babydaddy decided to come see the kids this week I’m not a petty bm i let him he was mainly trying to flirt with me i stopped that because i was uncomfortable. Well for some reason i couldn’t stop thinking of him.. he was my first everything... 4 days past he came around again i let him around the kids etc. Well as soon as the kids went for nap i was gonna tell my babydaddy he could leave now instead he started kissing me and grabbing me pinning me down 😭😭 he pulled my pants down and raped me i cried telling him to stop i didn’t want to do this everytime he just told me to shut up that he knew i wanted it.... i feel so gross and depressed. My boyfriend has no idea my kids dad came down. I know he’d be pissed off and call me a slut or something.. i don’t know what to do it’s driving me crazy thinking about what happened today. I don’t want to lose my boyfriend i love him so much i never wanted to cheat on him. I don’t know if i should just keep this secret to myself and put my kids dad on a restraining order.