So I’m just looking for words of advice or at this point anything ...

My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months (yes I know it’s a short amount of time but please don’t judge ...) and we live together in his parents home until we have enough save to move out. I do not have a relationship with either of my parents or hardly anyone on either side of my family. So I’m very close with his mom and siblings and entire family.

Me and him have been taking about wanting a baby. We are 19 and both work full time jobs and can financially support ourselves and all the fun adult things lol. I had a miscarriage back in May of 2019 with a guy that was emotionally and mentally abusive and then shortly after I got pregnant (before I knew I was pregnant), I moved out of my mother’s house due to abuse. I lost the baby at 8+1 and I had only found out three days prior to losing. I was devastated and all I’ve ever wanted in life was to be a mom. So me and my current boyfriend have been in the mindset of “if it happens, it happens”.

We aren’t “not preventing” but we also aren’t making it a habit to use condoms.

Now, here’s where I need help ...

My boyfriend is a cancer kid. He had his first surgery at 8 years old and has had three more since then. He’s clear of cancer but he still has some stomach issues - he had colon cancer. His medical issues can be passed down and we both know what that means. There’s a high risk of our child having the same stomach issues as him and possibly being worse than what he has. We’ve talked about it a lot and yet we still want to have our own family.

Now his mom (she thinks that he’s never moving out and that she can control every aspect of his life because he’s always needed her) flat out told me that we HAVE to use condoms and there will be no accidents with us. She told me I’m not allowed to have a child with her son because of his medical problems that could be passed down. It hurt me so bad that I stayed silent for over a week and it made me really mad when my boyfriend didn’t even stand up for me against his mom. He just kinda sat there and silently agreed with her. But then me and him talk about starting a family and he’s all for it.

Please help with what I should do and if you agree with his mom.

It’s been a few weeks since this happened and we have discussed having kids again recently because I’ve been in and out of the hospital with cysts and having to have surgery soon.

But should his mom have a say in when we can and can’t have a kid or if I’M allowed to have a child?

**UPDATE**

She doesn’t want us to have kids because of my boyfriend’s medical issues. We’ve talked before about what would happen if I ended up pregnant in her house and she told me that she would rather us be here than out by ourselves if I got pregnant so that way she could help out. And that was just a few months ago when we talked about that.

We plan on moving out, we just can’t find anything close to our jobs that’s affordable right now.