I’m just curious how your husbands treat you. I’ve been in graduate school the entire time I was pregnant, had our daughter during summer and then went back to school in the fall. Though we weren’t trying for a baby, it worked out perfectly and I was able to stay in the masters program while raising our daughter. Well I finally just finished the program and now I have a month or so to study for the big certification exam (occupational therapy) to study while also working on a paid project with another therapist and maintaining the house ie. cooking cleaning taking care of the child y’all know the deal. My husband always comes home to say I did nothing all day except “sat on my fat ass”. (He only says it if I ask him to help me with something, usually to help with our daughter and play with her so I can get something productive done) Literally those are his words. Because I don’t make any money I am worthless. At least that’s how I feel. It doesn’t matter what I do at home. “There are plenty of single moms who do it all and don’t complain” so he says. And I guess he’s right. I’m just tired of feeling guilty for when he comes home to ask him to watch our daughter for a bit so I can go fold laundry without it getting all undone or to study for 20min in peace or to take a 5 min shower. I have friends who are completely SAHM and their husbands treats them to massages and girls trips with friends etc. I’m only a SAHM for literally a couple months until I get certified and find a job but he has to rub it in my face every single day how I’m home all day and not contributing anything. I dont want a medal for taking care of our daughter and my other obligations while he’s at work. All I want is to not be told that I do nothing all day. And I want to add, I am so grateful for how hard he works to provide for our family especially during this time that I’m not working so he’s the sole income. But does that mean we live two separate lives?? He works, comes home and does what he wants and then goes to bed while I take care of our child all day and most of the housework and my scholarly obligations? Our two worlds rarely interact and if I ask them to (ie ask him to watch his kid) he eventually gets pissed. Why can’t he just come home and want to be with us without it feeling like a chore.

so I’m just curious - SAHM- how does your husband treat you? If you’re in a similar situation, how do you talk to your husband to ask him to share responsibilities and be a part of your child’s life without feeling guilty? He makes me feel like he works all day and I’m home doing nothing all day so how dare I ask him to watch our daughter because *i* need a break, apparently my whole day is a “break”. This in turn makes me feel lousy and depressed and LESS motivated to do the cooking and cleaning and everything else for when he gets home. He doesn’t get that. He says that’s so “convenient” for me to feel.