How do you do it...

I’m sitting here 11 dpo on my first round of Clomid negative after negative. I’ve had high prolactin, an MRI, what they thought to be a prolactinoma, laparoscopy to find endometriosis, and now on Clomid. I read everything, I try not to symptom spot, I try to remain calm and patient. Women who get pregnant on their first round, I could never get that lucky. Women who don’t get a positive until 14 dpo. I will never get that lucky. My breasts have hurt since 2 dpo. I’m just tired.. I’m tired of my tits hurting for no reason other than PMS. I am so tired of letting everyone down. Everyone is ready for a baby including myself and my body just won’t do what it’s supposed to do. I pray multiple times a day for a positive test, a healthy pregnancy and baby. Nothing. God why won’t you listen to me? Why won’t you give me a miracle? I just don’t understand.