I’m in my early 20s. I married a man whose just turned 30. I’ve been living on my own since 16, with no family, forced to raise myself from a very young age. I’m a lot older than my age. So no comments on how it’s “sick” for him to marry such a young girl, if you knew us you’d 100% see that’s not the problem.

He spend his 20s taking care of his family member who had no one, and needed care and assistance. But he was also taken care of during this time, he didn’t have bills, responsibilities, etc. He has no savings and is currently paying off $7000 in debt.

I did. I’ve paid bills, taken care of myself. But I also have no savings, but no debt. No degree and still want one.

I moved from North America to England to be with him & his family. His family has taken me in with open arms. As someone who grew up with abuse and no love, this is a really big deal.

We’re both starting from scratch. I’m 20, he’s 30. We both work full time, but there’s nothing incredible about us yet. Just starting out. We’ve just started renting a nice two bedroom house across the street from his mom. We’re also having a son in 4 months.

I guess my question is what if I change. What if I start dealing with all my past trauma, start growing, raise an amazing child, get the online accounting degree I want, get my dream job, start doing amazing things. And he’s not on the same page.

He’s a simple guy. He loves me unconditionally, and sometimes is still in shock that I’m with him (this is definitely what us girls need: someone who loves us a little bit more than we love them 😜). He’s attractive. Nothing crazy but attractive to me. I’m more than a thousand percent certain he’d never cheat on me, we’ve discussed it and that’s definitely not something I’ll ever have to worry about.

He’s simple, funny, but no goals or ambitions. But I want to be extraordinary. What if this makes me change my mind about him in 10 years? We’ll have a 10 year old son, possibly more kids, and this man would never do anything wrong. If I decide I don’t want the simple guy, how could I leave the “flawless” father of my children?

Edit: I do want this man in my life forever, I’m just scared of that changing. I’ve never seen a successful relationship in my life. I jus generally see things as not lasting forever. I just struggle thinking in terms of forever - except when it comes to my children.