Me and my SO had been dating for three years but we hit a roadblock and we separated for about four months. We broke up in September of 2019. We both still loved each other very much but we tried moving on, the both of us... I found out about the girl he was with and I know he talked a lot a crap about me. We’re dating again but I just keep thinking about the things he did to her and the pictures she sent him (I saw them) and the things she’d say to him. And the things he’d say to her. I literally cannot stop thinking about the shit they would say to each other. She actually apologized to me because he invited me to DC for New Years to rekindle our relationship but he ignored me for three days while talking to this bitch on his phone and told her he was gonna take my car to go see her (I drove him there) and talked all the crap he did behind my back and he was the one who invited me to be with him in DC.... she apologized to me because she didn’t know she was in the way and he just did me really dirty. Well I forgave him and whatnot but the thing is I really do not trust him. I’m trying really hard. He says he’s changed and I can kinda tell he has by the way he treats me and he apologizes a lot for what happened and always mentions he doesn’t deserve someone like me. He cried the other day because he didn’t want me to leave him. (I was contemplating it) and this man never cries. He says he wants to be with me forever and that he fucked up really bad and that he’ll spend the rest of his life to make it up to me. I think it’s a stretch but the crying got to me and I can tell he really does love me but all I can think about is what he did to me and that he doesn’t deserve me. I love him soooo much but I cannot get the thought of HER and HIM out of my head. Please help. Do I need to visit a shrink? Do I need time ? It’s been about three weeks we’ve been together now. I fight myself to not bring up old shit to save an argument because I do have anger issues and I try really hard to not get angry at him..... I feel terrible but I feel he deserves the same punishment.