TTC with PCOS had been so emotionally and physically draining. I changed my entire lifestyle to try and get pregnant. Started medications to help with ovulation. I quit smoking (not hard to do once you get it into your head that you will get pregnant), started dieting and going back to the gym. Tracked my CM every single day, OPKs every day after AF was done and baby dancing every single day. Praying over and over that AF doesn't come the next cycle, but it always does and the heartbreak always sets in. Crying at night to my hubby that I just want it to be my turn when I'm seeing all my friends having babies when they aren't even trying. Sobbing that it's not fair, it's just not fair. And I am just so tired. I've wanted to be a mommy for so long and I'm starting to feel as if it isn't meant to be for me. I hate this resentment that I feel towards other women when they get a BFP, because how dare I get angry at a fellow woman for something so beautiful? But I can't help it because I am so envious of their joy and I want so badly for it to be me too. I'm ready to just give up and hopefully it will just happen. I'm so tired of being so sad and disappointed every cycle. It's exhausting.

*Posted anonymously because I feel guilty for all these feelings*