I have not been able to sleep well. Shocked, happy, scared, anxious and everything in between. Pregnancies bring these emotions out in most women but for those who have experienced a loss or multiple losses...the journey is terrifying. My husband and I were planning to start fertility treatments in March which would be 6 months after prematurely delivering Theo at 23 weeks, but during a random check with a urine pregnancy test I recently bought to start stocking up, I saw a faint line. I repeated another test from same brand and it came back the same. I proceeded to try 3 other brands and all came back faintly positive. Since then, I have not been able to stop testing, worried that it is all a joke and I will suddenly be no longer pregnant. I’m also fearful of what is in store because I know too much about what can go wrong. I’m also anxious about fast forwarding time until I can actually hold this baby in my arms, safe and healthy so that I can stop worrying. Looks like this journey will be a very emotionally and physically rough one with a lot of “peeing on a stick”... What doesn’t help is I don’t even know how far along I am because I have PCOS and don’t ovulate normally. Appointment for ultrasound is not until 2/28. #pregnant #surprised #peeingonastick #pregnancyafterloss #bereavedmother #pretermlabor #placentalabruption #emergencycesarean #infantloss #niculoss #hopeoverfear #stickybean #pcos #hypothyroidism