I just found out yesterday morning that I'm pregnant. I'm roughly 4 weeks and 2 days based on my last period.

I'm pregnant with a guy who is my best friend and who is just starting the process of going through a divorce. He's been separated for 2 years from his crazy wife. Yes crazy. She'sthreatened me on more than one occasion and him too. My period was late and I was freaking out. He has 3 kids with his ex under the age of 5. I have a 14 month old who has special needs and requires a lot of extra care and such.

He wants us to be together. And has wanted that for 6 months nearly. I wanted him to get a divorce finalized before we moved in and started a life together. But now I'm pregnant. He's THRILLED. He wants us to move in like asap. No later than April 1st. He's looking at houses for us, vehicles to accommodate us. Trying to budget stuff. All while starting the process of his divorce.

I told him I'm not ready for a baby. And it will make things complicated and things will be rushed. He sees it as "my ex will want nothing to do with me if I got someone else pregnant and the divorce will move quickly"

I'm like "do I want an instant family of 7? What if he changes his mind about me? What if we actually aren't good together long term?"

I feel like terminating is the best option. And I feel guilty because I don't believe in abortion. Neither does he. But I can't afford a baby. I don't want an instant family. I don't even want to carry to full term and chose adoption because I don't want to be pregnant. My idea is the faster I see a doctor, the easier it will be. And I can get a medical one before I hit 8-9 weeks. On one hand I feel guilty about taking a life. In another hand the timing is awful. It'll add to the chaos. Please help