We have a 4 year old full blooded pitbull named Henry that we've had for 2 years. He is as sweet as can be and we absolutely love him and his fat little head but, I am literally pulling my hair out. I want to have a child with my husband but, we cannot until this whining and barking is taken care of. We rescued him from a dog fighter and it took me that full 2 years to train all aggression and most of his anxiety out of him. Now he wouldn't hurt a fly. We have 2 other animals. A dog named Grace and a cat named Milo. They're mostly quiet, well mannered animals. Henry, on the other hand, is driving me mad. He is a very smart boy and learns so so fast but, the one thing that we can't train out of him is his horrible horrible whining and barking. He barks at every noise from the neighbors (we live in an apartment), every leaf blowing, every small knock or noise. He screams this high pitched, blood curdling scream of excitement when his walks come. He screams during the walk at everything he sees. He screams in the dog park wanting other dogs to play with him. It just never stops. We can't raise a baby in this. We've been to the vet and nothing is wrong. They won't prescribe anxiety meds because he is perfect everywhere but, in our home. We've been through 2 trainers who gave up on him and a behavioralist who wasn't the least bit interested in his case. She was the only one within 3 hours so we're out of options on that front. We've tried ignoring it. We tried giving alternative "calm" cues like lay down and sit to make him settle. We've taught him quiet which he knows well but, simply ignores. We used high value treats that he ignores. We've tried distracting him with a kong filled with peanut butter. We've tried a bark collar(much to my dismay). We've tried changing our walking routines. We've tried dissociation with the leash and harness. We've tried tiring him out. We've tried walking him on his own without his sister (he just screams more because he sees her being walked even though he just went and wants to go too). We have tried literally everything these last two years. Nothing works! It doesn't help that my husband isn't interested in being the least bit consistent with him. I fully believe that he is the main reason that it's still this bad. He'll try a technique for awhile before straying from it and then I'll remind him to be consistent and he just tells me to shut the f*ck up and leave him alone. So, finally, I did just that. I didn't say a word for 2 weeks and left all training and structure with him. When Henry wouldn't calm down, he blamed it on me being in the room as the "main trainer" so I left. Now I hide out in the bedroom everyday before walks. Henry has done nothing but, gotten worse than he has ever been and my husband just keeps screaming "quiet" "calm" "lay down" and "sit" over and over again. He's still being stubborn and refusing to allow me to help. He has completely devalued all of those commands and now Henry won't lay down or sit on top of everything else. I fully believe that, based on where our life is headed family wise, the fact that we live in an apartment which feeds into his screaming and barking, the fact that we're two busy individuals about to get busier and, the fact that my husband actively works against me and, let's be quite frank, verbally abused me during these training sessions, we should rehome Henry into a more stable environment where he can have the quiet structure he needs. He's also an attention hog and enjoys having all of the attention and throws himself down in the floor and throws tantrums when the other two get any. He belongs in an only dog household.

The problem about rehoming is, my husband is the one who found him and convinced himself that "he rescued him" and it was meant to be even though, I was the one who picked the dog up, trained him day in and day out, bonded with him, etc. He says and I quote, "I don't want to rehome him because I rescued him and he's my dog and it makes me feel good to see him in a better place." I translate that into, "I shoved a dog off on you that you didn't want with an already full schedule and, now I don't want to do what's best for him because he boosts my ego and I'd rather be self serving and selfish even though my family is a ball of anxiety, going through hell." I've communicated with him time and time again but, he just won't budge on this dog. He barely interacts with him, doesn't work with or play with him daily, calls him mean names all of the time, etc. I just don't understand it.

I love Henry with all of my heart. I really do. I wish that I could keep him and it would shatter my heart to rehome him but, it's breaking my heart more to see him and my other animals go through this. I just hate it. Idk what to do and after a discussion this morning, it's all put back on me again. I feel like screaming or maybe crying or maybe both. I'm at a complete loss and I need real help. Please, please help me. Thanks to everyone in advance.

TL;DR Dog feels untrainable and I'm at a loss of what to do after seeing all of the experts. We've tried everything but, Henry is getting worse. Husband actively works against me and refuses to rehome the dog. My whole family is a ball of anxiety. I just want to have kids and send Henry to a home that is consistent and right for him because idk what else to do.