My husband and I have been married for almost a year but we have a 2 year old daughter together and my stepdaughter who is almost 6.

My problem is that ever since our daughter was born my husband has had such a hard time dealing with her. When she was a baby he blamed it on not knowing how to care for an infant. When she was one it still “I don’t know what to do with her.” Now that she’s two they have a better bond but honestly most of the time he has so many unrealistic expectations for her and it’s getting hard to be understanding.

He expects to be able to sit down and watch movies and not have to get up. He expects her not to cry or whine EVER. He expects her to just want to play by herself and “leave us alone.”

Every single step of the way he hasn’t been able to deal with one thing or another and when she’s feeling sick or can’t sleep well or is just cranky he gets so angry and says we should just give her to our parents until she’s better because we “shouldn’t have to put up with stuff like this.” And it’s not fair to us.

Lately he’s also been upset that we don’t get time together until she goes to bed at 7pm which THAT I can understand because I would love time with my husband (when he’s not being an asshole) but we’re parents and every time I try to explain that to him he just whines like a child that it’s not fair.

Honestly, I’m so tired of going through this song and dance with him and I’m tired of him blaming our daughter for everything wrong with his life especially when I do 99% of the parenting and caretaking (he’s bathed her 5 times since she was born and put her to bed twice-both times I walked him through it) But when things are good they are REALLY good. For example we hadn’t had an argument since August before this past week and he’d been really good with our daughter. And I love my stepdaughter with all my heart. In every single way, except biologically, she is my first child. I would hate to separate from my husband and lose her and lose the sibling relationship she has with my husband and mines daughter.

Idk what to do anymore.