My toddler was colicky as a baby. No matter how much you held or sang or lightly swayed her, walked with her, fed her she was crying and my arms couldn’t calm her down. And yet I still held her or pushed her in her stroller or baby weared her. Now she’s 17 months and she’s still the same. Can’t be consoled, I’m losing my mind. Last night she woke up crying and coughing, she’s not feeling well. She was coughing so much that she couldn’t go back to sleep. I took her to the kitchen to try to give her zarbees why did I do that! She started to cry uncontrollably. I tried holding her and dancing, rocking, singing nothing works she eventually made herself vomit from crying so much. She didn’t want to be held. I eventually had to read her a few books and that worked with helping to calm her down. The other night I had to wash her hair because there was so much spaghetti sauce in it, she hates washing her hair. Cried until she vomited in the tub. I took her out and held her and rocked her and nothing. I ended up yelling at her to shut up, obviously that didn’t work and made me feel so ashamed afterwards. I had to put on coco melon on YouTube to calm her down. Why can’t I calm her down? Makes me feel like a bad mom. She shows my expression when I get home from work. I was home for 6 months with her and now I come home from work and she couldn’t be bothered. I know I probably have some undiagnosed ppd and I’m going to seek help but is there any one else out there who’s child could care less if you are their mama or not?