so a bit of background first. i had 3 children with my husband then unfortunately our 4th was stillborn just before my due date 2 years ago. since then we had a healthy baby but hes currently under monitoring with the health visitor as hes developing slower than they are happy with and showing some signs of autism. since he was last seen i feel there's been a lot of change in him hes now walking etc but still not doing other stuff they expect of him, he also still wakes at night.

now for months ive been feeling like i want another baby but ive kept quiet because i knew it wasnt the right time for another. this past month it got too much and i couldnt keep it in anymore i just feel so desperate for another baby so i told hubby. He agreed tanother would be hard but certainly something he'd like and hes ok to try whenever im ready.

i guess my question is do i give in to my feelings and try from now for a baby or do i wait a while to see how my son gets on? i feel like even if he is slow or autistic id want another so what difference does it make when i have one but then i also feel like im being selfish having one not knowing if he will need extra support. im not sure if im making excuses up in my head because i have anxiety from losing my son so obviously pregnancy isnt the easiest of times for me or 🤷‍♀️