I was dealing with my now ex boyfriend since the end of my sophomore year. Im now a senior in high school. We were friends before we started dating & lived right by each other before i moved to another state but we werent talking at that time. Once i moved around the time of my birthday We started to talk every day & grew closer. But the mistake we made was that we both had just got out a hurtful relationship. We were both still damaged & hurting. But in a way we were healing each other which i think was a mistake also. We should have took the time to heal & fix ourselves but yeah that didn’t happen. At this time of use freshly starting to date everything was good. I thought i finally found happiness after being in a relationship with someone who never showed me they loved me. Who i loved more than he loved me. In my eyes he was perfect to me. Until we started to have our problems. He started talking to the same ex girlfriend that hurt so bad to the point he was just mentally damaged & fucked up. I felt some way about that & we had a big argument about it & broke up in January. The next couple months i moved back out to where i was living originally we started going to the same school again & by surprise i had class with him. Now my intentions were never to get back with him because i felt like we rushed things & we didn’t understand that we both was still hurting at that time. Months past & were still in the same class & we start talking again. He had a girlfriend which i was very much friends with the girl. But me & him were still talking on a friendly level. But the more we started talking the more the feelings came back. I respected they’re relationship & was there for him when she started to have her jealous outburst & started to do things to make him mad. So comes May of 2019 they broke up. We decided to get back together & try again..and things were going good. I really was in love with him because through all the bad & good times he was like bestfriend also. When his ex girlfriend (who was my friend also) found out we were together she hated me & texted me saying all sorts of things. I didn’t really care because i really loved him we been on & off since my sophomore year. Things started to get toxic.. on & off toxic. We would break up. He would disrespect me... always call me out my name when he was mad.. i would say hateful things to him when i was mad..We would block each other.. i would blow his phone .. i found myself always begging him to talk to me & then boom. We would fix things get back together like nothing happened. On thanksgiving we had sex. We started having sex in like June of 2019 that was our first time having sex together. On thanksgiving we had unprotected sex. We thought i was pregnant because i missed the whole month of January... we were still at the same school at this time btw .. people did not know we were together because we decided to keep it lowkey because the last time we broke up his friends told him were toxic to each other & my friends said the same.. but we just loved each other so much .. anyways back to January so he started to act very distant after that he kept pushing it on me that i might be pregnant & i took 2 test to calm him & my nerves to let him know im not pregnant.. after that he still decided to tell his mother because my period still didnt come & his mother said she didnt wanna hear it & told him she wouldnt support him he is on his own. So after my period finally came. He distant his self from me. Didnt text me. Always texted back slow just had me wondering what was wrong whats going on.. after that he finally told me he didnt want to me were not right together right now... i found myself begging him to please talk to me & just texted him from my 2 instagram accounts. I was having bad anxiety at night all the time. I would just cry & cry. & i finally put my foot down & understood that its not normal for me to keep dealing with him. I felt like he took a tole on me mentally. I felt like i allowed him to always come back. I saw all the red flags & ignored anything. Once i got tired of always being sad & down i blocked him on every single thing. Everything.. it was a hard process & i felt myself still caring & wondering what he was doing. But i have to start loving myself & understanding that i didnt deserve any of that ..because self love is the best love 🧡 i just needed to vent thank you yo anyone that reads this & i will take any advice given 🥰