Sometimes I forget. I forget what happened with dad. I feel sick. I spent so much time keeping what happened to myself and had to pretend I wasn’t uncomfortable when I was around dad. I stopped going into my parents bedroom when I got scared ( I was 12 so I used to go in their bedroom if I was scared, I’m 15 now)because I was more scared to be around him and for it to happen again. I was molested. When he had an outburst of anger, I felt that I needed to tell mom what happened. She cried. SHE cried. I felt so betrayed when she wanted to talk about it with him and when she asked me if I were sure it happened. She felt the need to TALK. She always would call the men on the news who did things sick bastards and that they should die. But she was more worried about herself to do me justice. She cared more about how he takes care of her. She left me to talk to him about it. He said what any man who did such a thing would say,” I don’t know what ur talking about.” She came back and told me that and that he was sorry IF he did. She didn’t want to believe me. The whole reason I didn’t say anything was because I knew how much he took care of her(she is disabled),but when I felt unsafe ( he got really angry one time and threw things at me and started shaking me for “talking back”)I told her hoping she would save me. I thought she would immediately kick him out. She went through it as well in her past yet she did nothing for me. Now I’m forced to act like everything is ok. Sometimes I think maybe I did make it up. Maybe I’m so fucked up that I made what happened up. Even if I did though, she should have listened to me. I love him in a way but I can’t get it out of my head. I never will but I have to act like everything is ok. I feel so fucked up for still being around him and ok. The only reason I feel ok is because I forget for a moment. Then he makes comments or looks at me in a way and I feel sick. It was only one time but it will always replay in my head. Mom never even tried to get me to go to a therapist to help myself. I’m just here. I can’t tell anyone.

I appreciate you guys commenting 💓