On February 11, I was induced and had my baby girl at 17 weeks. Her heart had stopped beating. I feel so broken and find myself looking at her photos in the the middle of the night. I try to remember how she smelled, how her hands felt, every detail.

I feel so empty.

There’s a void and I just want to fill it. I want my belly back, I want to be pregnant again. I even was stupid and had sex 4 days postpartum, hoping I’d be one of those that got pregnant right away- I know I can’t be ovulating yet- I just want that all back. I want the future we’d planned back.

Has anyone else experienced something like this, trying to fill the void ASAP?