I almost got committed into a mental hospital

BIG TRIGGER WARNING

I’ve been really depressed for a few months now. Like super low, in a bad place. I was self harming more frequently and even did something involving a firearm like a month ago (I won’t go into details because I don’t want to get in trouble here). I had told my counselor about it because I wanted to be honest with her. I started a new medication and got a referral to a psychiatrist. I told her I didn’t want to die, I wanted to see how I’d feel when the medicine kicked in, I’m just tired of feeling like I wanted to die. Next thing I knew she was calling campus police to escort me to the hospital. She made me sign papers about missing school and consent stuff and I was so scared. She met us at the hospital and when I got triaged she was telling the nurses what I told them. She told them about the self harming, the firearm, that I said there’s other ways to kill myself in my house. I felt like I had no voice. I know she was just doing her job but I felt betrayed. She left when the doctor filed the order for my PEC. My dad can’t through for me and set up an appointment with a psychiatrist the next morning and promised the doctor that I’d stay with him for the next 3 days. And I got out of it. I feel happy about that. I had Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend and a good weekend overall. And I didn’t want to miss school.

I don’t know how to feel about everything right now. Sometimes I wonder if it was the right thing to do but I guess I can’t know since it only happened 2 days ago. I really don’t know.