I posted a few days ago about being down about turning 36 and still not being able to get pregnant after 2 years of trying. Well....I'm still not pregnant!!! 😡 Period started today. I don't even want to think that this may be implantation bleeding cuz then hopes will be up again and then will ultimately crash down when blood flow starts in earnest. I hate being so cynical, but it's the only way I knownto cope. But even so, I know I'll cry.

Today is 11dpo. CD 29. Longest cycle I've had in months. Period supposedly to start on Wednesday. But....yeah.

What made me want to post something is Facebook. I'm scrolling and I see what we all dread. Someone else's pregnancy announcement. Baby #3. Probably not planned (nothing against that btw) cuz she just had a baby who turned 1 a few days ago, and she was a surprise. And now...yaaaay #3! 😩 Well wishes to her and everything. Yeah, I'm feeling some type of way about it, especially after wiping blood today and feeling the telltale period cramps. I was actually thinking maaaaaaaybe this was going to be our month. It's finally our time! Apparently not.

And does anyone else's husband seem not to ever take the news badly? Mine is like...unaffected. He says "Aww" and is always supportive and ready to keep trying month after month, but where I cry and cant really find the energy to even pretend to smile, he's off playing video games and enjoying the NBA Allstar game like it's any normal day. I dunno. I guess that's better than having him break down or something, but it just feels...I dunno. A little lonely, I guess, being the one that always takes it so hard.