*trigger warning: self harm/suicide*

To everyone who is going through a really tough time right now, I want to relay something that happened to me last night. I finally decided to tell my boyfriend of 3 months about the depths of history with depression. I told him about how my senior year of high school some of my closest friends abandoned me for seemingly no reason and I hit rock bottom. I used to come home from school and cry on my bedroom floor every day, feeling worthless. It even got to the point that I would hold a razor blade, touch the point, and think and fantasize about slitting my wrists. I genuinely thought I was better off dead but was (luckily!!) too scared to go through with anything. Then I came to college and made new wonderful friends but still struggled with depression, although to a lesser degree. Then, this year (my senior year of college) things have gotten really really good for me. I’ve been doing very well in school, landed a really good internship, and started seeing my amazing boyfriend. I told him how happy I was to be alive and be with him and how I never thought my life would get this good. As I said all of this, he started crying, and I started crying, and then he just held me for a really long time telling me how much he loves me and how he will always, always be here for me if I need to talk about my depression or anything else for that matter. It meant everything to me. Last night, I laid in his arms just thinking about how incredibly thankful I am that I stayed alive to experience all of this happiness that high school me never could have imagined. Life really does get so much better so please, please remind yourself that you owe yourself the chance to stick around and see it. And even if it doesn’t feel like it in a given moment, someday someone will love all of you, even the dark and difficult parts.