So let me stay from the beginning. My dad dated this horrible person when I was younger. She treated all of us (his kids) like garbage. He dated her and she lived with us for quite a long time. And then one day he reconnected with his ex wife (the woman before he met my mom) and they really hit it off. My dad left his awful girlfriend and started dating his ex wife. Honestly from the very beginning I loved her. She was a breathe of fresh air compared to the abusive terrible person my dad had around for the longest time. She taught us what it was like to be a family. What it was like to love each other no matter what happens because that’s what family really is. She was the rock in my family in so many ways! She was amazing! She was the closest person I ever had to a mom! She lived with us starting my junior year in high school. I moved out but I would come to visit her multiple times a week and she would make dinner for me and buy groceries for me. Well one day she told me she needed me to take her to the hospital because they had done scans and biopsies and she had breast cancer. So I took her and stayed with her till they were done taking the chance out. She went through radiation and hated it. She was in remission for a year. Then the cancer came back. It was on fluid on her lung which caused it to collapse. She was in and out of the hospital trying hormone therapies and everything and finally it was on her lung and her liver and at this point she didn’t want to go through radiation or chemo just to be in so much pain. So they tried everything they could and my step mom was so strong she lived with the pain cancer caused her every day but she continue to be the most loving person to everyone around her. Well last April I found out I was pregnant. She was over the moon about it. She picked out onesies for him she went to appointments with me, she helped me pick out a couple names and told me Oliver was her favorite and she helped me plan and pay for my baby shower. A week after my baby shower we went to the movies. That was the last time I saw her “healthy”. My husband and I went up north for a baby moon. My dad called me and told me my step mom was in the hospital. He told me not to come back home but enjoy my two day trip because she seemed fine. When I came back home she forgot who I was. I visited her in the hospital everyday she was there. Even though I was 35-36weeks pregnant. She passed away on a Sunday. We were all there to say goodbye. The following Thursday I had my 37 week check up, and my blood pressure was through the roof. (190/100). They sent me to the hospital to be induced. I had my son at a couple days after 37 weeks gestational. It was the hardest week of my life. And literally the next week our lease was up and we were moving. So I was moving 1 week post partum, still trying to figure out how I was going to grief the loss of my step mom who was literally a mother to me. Being a first time new mom, I still haven’t grieved her in the healthiest way. And I feel scared since it’s been 2 months, to tell my husband that I’m having an extremely difficult time. I don’t know who to talk to. I don’t know what to do. I’m lost and sad. I’ll take any advice on how to grieve in a healthy way, or even just advice on how to be a new mom with sadness. Thanks ladies!