I hate being the “popular” girl.

I am a sophomore in high school and I have been deemed one of the popular girls at school. I really don’t understand what makes us popular, but according to my cousin who goes to the same school, some of my friends and I are the “popular” kids. I am becoming increasingly upset about it because if I am ever feeling bad or insecure, it’s automatically dismissed because I am popular. If I say I don’t feel like being at school, I’m told it’s easy for me and there’s no reason to complain. I don’t mean to be annoying or whiny but sometimes I just want to vent my feelings without being told I shouldn’t feel that way because of how others see me. I was talking to a friend today and we were talking about boys and I said I want a cute boyfriend sort of jokingly. Like smiling and being funny I guess. My friend rolled her eyes and said boys always want to date me and it’s easy for me and I shouldn’t complain. Which isn’t even true. Boys do not act the way she means towards me.

I am afraid to post this as I figure people will say I am being self centered or talking too highly of myself. I don’t think that way. I have low self esteem and many insecurities and I want to talk about them but people don’t want to hear. They get angry with me and tell me I don’t have any problems. I guess I am just hoping at least one person can understand and tell me I’m not wrong for being upset about this.