Today I had a full on break down at work - I literally cried in front of everyone n then had to sit in a side room for 20 mins to calm down. All because of an incident with a male co-worker.

A male member of staff I work with has anger issues- 90% of the time he's really nice and we get on well...then suddenly he flips out of nowhere when something irritates him and becomes very aggressive. He is not physical, just raises his voice, speaks very aggressively and comes up very close. I would understand if it was because I was being aggressive or trying to initiate an argument with hm but I am a very timid, very quiet woman who never gets aggressive with anyone at work - I'm a chicken.

He has been like this since I started working there's over a year ago. He suddenly gets aggressive about the strangest things, some examples: I offered a pregnant woman orange juice because she couldn't drink the wine we were serving (we are waiters); I am vegan, and kept it a secret for months because of the way vegans are treated at my work but he found out and expressed the view (aggressively) that all vegans and other diets like gluten free etc. Shouldn't be allowed to eat here; I offer all lactose intolerant people and vegan people soya milk with their coffee as they cannot drink normal milk. In all these examples he became very aggressive, n i just don't understand why.

So tonight I started doing one of the tasks that needed doing as the person allocated to the task wasn't doing it. Everyone was standing talking so I thought 'rather than stand doing nothing, I'm going to work cos I'm being paid for this.' He then starts getting really aggressive with me, saying how I shouldn't be doing a task that wasn't allocated to me (even though everyone is standing chatting and not actually doing their job). So I answer back and say "well what do you want me to do, just get paid to stand still?" He gets really angry, n starts raising his voice in front of everyone- staff n customers. I say that this is a matter for our manager and walk away before it can escalate. He then sends our manager over to me to tell me off...

This is when I loose my shit. I just couldn't face being told off when I've put up with this guy's behaviour and never complained, even when I've felt close to tears. So i raise my voice to my manager p, say no I have had enough of X, I'm not taking any more of his shit. I am so stressed, have so many worries (financial, family, health, break up) in my life atm, but I come to work everyday, paint on a smile, am really nice to everyone, no matter what I'm feeling inside and then I get treated like this?! N then I burst into tears in front of everyone. Just the emotional build up of a year's worth of this guy's comments all came out at once.

I later found out from a colleague that another woman has made a complaint against X already to one of our managers. But not to HR.

I am wondering whether to make an official complaint? I'm just scared, as i am different nationality to X and quite a few of my coworkers, if they will all turn against me (they like to talk in their language so I can't understand and leave me and others out). Plus I'm scared I will be seen as the bad guy or the 'over emotional little woman on her period' if I make an official complaint. I love working there so I don't want to make working there unbearable.

Has anyone else made an official complaint about someone? What happened? Please any advice is much appreciated :)

Please don't leave nasty comments, just don't comment at all if my post offends you, I've seen some really nasty comments on other posts and I don't think I can face that right now.

I am posting anonymously as I am paranoid there might be people from work on here.