Back in July my husband had an affair with his high school girlfriend. After a lot of fighting we decided to attend counseling and at least give it a try for the sake of out three kids and because he said he wanted to change. Things were okay for awhile he was still adding women on Facebook and messaging different women and we were still fighting. I wanted to go see my grandparents who live 6 hours away and there was a.big fight about him not wanting to spend more than a day with them over spring break so I just went up for 3 days with the kids without him. When I get back I find out he threw a party with females and lied to me and kept trying to lie about it. There was a picture on his phone he tried to delete of a woman (whose back was toward the camera) taking her shirt off in our room. I dont care what the story or excuse is because it doesnt matter I kicked him out and asked for a divorce. Well his dad calls me tonight saying that yes his son is childish and in the wrong im also in the wrong and I'm selfish for putting focus on school, my part time job (my husband forced me to get) and going to the gym (I have pcos and was told in order for it to get better i needed to lose weight) and that I need to put more time into the kids (which I put everything on my life on hold for). My FIL said my husband wouldnt be happy with me until I'm happy with me and that I need to do my wifely duties better even though ive been bleeding for 20 days straight. I'm so angry because i already blame myself and im a person who takes criticism very personal. I just dont even know what to do anymore. I feel like a failure, I feel like I'm not enough and that im trying to do everything but it's not good enough. The house isnt clean enough, the kids arent happy enough and im not perfect enough. I struggle with mental health really badly and have tried to commit suicide twice and I'm trying not to go back but it's really hard. Sorry for the long post I just needed to type it before i felt like my chest was going to explode.