Why do I keep getting disappointed?

Hi ladies I would like some advice please. I'm 26 years old and I feel like I keep getting disappointed in relationships. I live on a small island so options are a bit limited in terms of dating. It can be pretty lonely and frustrating when you crave a certain type of companionship. I've never had a serious boyfriend and all the guys I've dated or talked to never took me serious so I've had my heart broken quite a few times. Some of the guys in hindsight actually were not good for me so I understand now why our friendship failed. But the thing is, it seems as if something ALWAYS goes wrong when I'm interested in someone.

For example, I dated a guy "M" who I was friends with for about 2 years. We were together for about 4 months before I broke it off for good because he tried to cheat on me with a friend. He tried to come back later on but I had already moved on to "R". I was friends with "R" for about 2 years and out of that time we dated for 14 months. He moved away half way into our relationship and we decided to try long distance. I visited him and after my visit he turned on me and treated badly until we ended things. In these two relationships, I wasn't treated really well and often felt like I was begging for love. I also wasn't appreciated and taken for granted so when I met "J", I was over the moon.

J was genuine, sweet and one of the nicest guys I've ever met. Anything I needed or wanted he would do for me and he was always there for me. His actions showed me that he really cared so I let my guard down with him and allowed myself to be vulnerable with him in a way that I never did with anyone. He told me I was his "person" and he was mine too because of the way I allowed myself to be vulnerable with him. I really enjoyed his friendship because it was something I'd never experienced before and it was really refreshing to have that friendship and love with one person. So you can imagine how it crushed me when he said he wasn't ready for a relationship even though his actions said otherwise. I had to call it quits because I was too in love with him to be just friends. I was friends with J for about 9 months. Feelings aside, I really, really miss his friendship.

I've been praying and asking God to help me get over him but I cant help but feel disappointed and frustrated with my dating life. I also find it ironic that the nicest guy I've met was in my life for only 9 months whereas the others who weren't so great were in my life longer. I'm really lonely and I'm tired of getting my heart broken when I let men into my life. Sometimes I even wonder if I'm not good enough to keep around and why God keeps letting stuff like this happen to me. I'm so terrified of meeting someone new now because I'm wondering if I will get hurt or how long they will be around for. I know that's not healthy but I cant help it. I know the rejection is for my protection but I must cant help but feel disappointed.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you 💛🧡