The upbringing you had growing up... does it affect the relationships you have today?

Question

Some grew up in abusive homes, some in awesome families. Sometimes they way you were brought up can affect your way of caring and loving someone.. even yourself￼

Answer

Yes it does. It makes me work 100 times harder to break the cycle and be the best mother, the mother I wish I would have had.

Answer

It would be naive to think that a life is not a some total of its parts. Of course, an upbringing has an effect on a person’s life. It’s just that some people have to do a lot of work to undo the effects of their upbringing.

Answer

Yes. I grew up in an abusive home with a mentally unstable mother and a dad who had anger issues. I'm easily 'triggered' by stupid things like stomping, or yelling. The other day my husband and I were at an old movie theater that had old wooden stairs leading up to one of the theater rooms we were in and so many people were stomping up the stairs that I almost had to leave because I started panicking really badly. As a result, my house is very quiet and me and my husband don't even 'yell' to each other from another room. 
I also have communication issues, I grew up doing everything I could to try and avoid setting off my parents, and tried to slip into the background as much as possible. I have to push myself to *actually* speak up about how I feel instead of just dealing with it to avoid causing any negative feelings or a confrontation. I'm also literally a quiet person, I don't speak very much or very loudly. 
Respect is also a HUGE thing for me. My husband and I are very respectful of each other. There's no voice raising, name calling, intentional insults, attacking each other with words, ect, and (of course) no violence. Which should be expected of course, but I'm pretty proud to have a healthy relationship with my spouse after seeing how unhealthy my parents relationship was 
Honestly- I could go on and on. My household growing up was just shitty and you constantly tip toed around trying not to exist. As an adult, I literally had to learn how to exist. How to talk and communicate, how to make noises around the house, how to have opinions, how I felt about things, who I am as a person. So of course that affects my relationship with other people

Answer

I’m a person who believes, regardless of your upbringing, that you choose to be who you are everyday. 
I was shown what not to do and I’ve avoided those mistakes so far.

Answer

Absolutely it does. Life has made me who I am today though. The good, the bad and the ugly days. My childhood was great and a happy one. Adulthood has been a shitshow and I am not remotely the same person I was 5 years ago.

Answer

It used to but it no longer does because while that trauma wasnt my fault, me carrying that trauma into relationships and letting it affect others is my fault.

Answer

Definitely. 
When I first started dating, I was 15 almost 16 and ended up dating someone mentally, verbally and sexually abusive. I thought abuse was normal because there was no relationship around me that I saw consistently that wasn’t abusive. He cheated, raped me, and lied to me endlessly. 
Thankfully I met my SO not much later but I had to work on myself a lot. I had a lot of attachment issues bc I thought he too would become abusive

The upbringing you had growing up... does it affect the relationships you have today?

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