But honestly I'm uncomfortable BECAUSE...

Long story short I am pansexual, my boyfriend is open to me experimenting with women because when we started dating I was a virgin.

He and I have tried a monogamish relationship where we could play with others but I was too jealous and it didn't work. In the future I would like to have threesomes and play but at the moment, he is my first relationship, and I'm letting myself be selfish about it.

But still he wants me to experience a woman, and I want to as well, but it feels unfair since I am not able to share him with others. I'm absolutely crazy about women and eager to love on one but this man is most definitely my mate for life. Am I crazy? Do I take comfort in his confidence in me? Is it hypocritical? I'm not sure.