Where do i begin? I found out recently my husband has a porn addiction. He also has made several accounts on websites that help you find someone to have an affair with. He created those accounts just 4 months after we got married... while we were actively trying to get pregnant. We were pregnant a month later. He claims he never actually slept with anyone and I didn’t find any messages to prove he did. He also has a secret Facebook, Instagram, and twitter. I logged into his secret Facebook and found out he’s been searching up girls that we went to college with. We’ve been dating since high school so he was speaking with these girls while we were dating and he said he looks them up because he always wonders what could’ve been. Well he searches them up several times during the week.

He also told me that his porn addiction is so bad that he compares me to the girls in porn and doesn’t find me as attractive as them. He recently started getting help and going to support group meetings. He’s panicking because he knows I’m about to leave. His mother is begging me to give him a chance because shes religious and believes we can “overcome” this. She also doesn’t want her grandchild to have divorced parents. She wants me to first talk to a counselor before I make any decisions. And it’s not like I have anywhere to go right now so I’m kind of just waiting.

Anyways. I want a divorce. The problem is that since getting pregnant and giving birth i have become completely financially dependent on my husband. I have about $300 to my name from checks that I’ve saved. I also don’t have family that lives close to me at all. My parents live in Italy and my only passport is in my maiden name. So I’d have to get a new passport for myself and one for my 6 month old.

My question is how do i start this process of leaving my husband? My mother has offered to fly to the states and help me get restarted. But how do i move all of my stuff? Do I leave first and come back for the stuff later? Or do I take it all with me when I go? I have extended family in CO and I live in ID. so it would be a far move. Can i take my child with me to a different state? My husband has basically said he’d give me full custody and wouldn’t fight it but I’m sure my monster mother in law would make him fight it.

I just feel stuck. His parents are making me feel guilty because if I leave them I’m basically giving up trying to get him help. I’m giving up on him when he’s trying to get better. Well I don’t care anymore. I’m angry. I’ve been deeply hurt and I want out. I jut need help getting out being confident in my decision.