High risk pregnancy/Judgement

I’m having a difficult time deciding to have an abortion or not. I have always been against it personally for myself but have always support friends and family that have went through. Or women having to do it for personal and or medical reasons. Now I’m facing the difficult choice myself. I had preeclampsia with my first born (almost 2). I still have HBP and protein in my urine. His dad I recently broke up. Then a month after found out he was cheating on me and starting sleeping with the woman. Hell broke through. Our family and friends found out. I blew up. Cause you know when you love someone so much and you just get tired of the crap, you just snap. He ended it with the girl. (I confronted her and it was just a big mess.) why do men always down grade. 🤷🏾‍♀️ anyway. We started back trying to make it work. We had sex and I wasn’t on my BC so I took a plan B. Didn’t work. Now here I am at least 6 weeks struggling with my decision. The medical problems the first time was so difficult and a struggle. I was in the hospital every two weeks and for at least 3 days. Im currently having headaches and every now and then vision problems. But on top of that it’s the judgement that still lingers around me. 😣😞