Thank you for not jumping me. I will probably stay anonymous, but only because I feel like people like to jump on insecurities, and honestly it’s a rough time for me right now and I can’t handle it. I know that I’m “whining” or being “annoying” I get that. I don’t WANT to. I hate that about myself. I usually try to talk to my SO. I just tell him I’m down and need a pick me up, again, I don’t want to nag him in any way. And he always makes me feel better. But how unattractive is that!? Like, I want to be a strong confident woman. I just am not like that. I sometimes put a front on, but when I’m alone it crumbles and I’m a mess.

I don’t think I worded my question well, or know how. I’ll take the blame. Porn was an example because I know it’s popular. My question is, I have low self esteem and I get bothered by even small things. I know that my insecurities are bullshit, but I can’t help them being in the back of my mind. So, while I don’t complain about the things my husband does, be it porn, being friends with women, going out with friends, whatever people have issues with. I can’t help but go through spurts where I feel self conscious about the stupidest shit, even though I know I’m being ridiculous. So, I’m asking how I can learn to not be an in the closet bitch about this shit. It’s my own personal problems. Not his. I don’t nag him about it, I try not to say anything. I don’t want to have insecurities, I guess need to work on my confidence, I just get tired of my back and forth? I don’t know. This probably still doesn’t make sense.