Ex accusing me of not letting him see the baby

*not sure if posting in the right group and drug use/suicide trigger warning* This is going to be a long rant...

My ex is accusing me of not letting him see the baby and I know he tells other people that I’ve been keeping her from him... but I haven’t.

She is almost 4 weeks old, and in that time his probably seen her twice a week. But I have offered for him to see her more.

For example, I got back from hospital on the Wednesday night, I said he was welcome to come round Friday to visit. On Friday afternoon he cancels to go drinking with the boys instead. On Saturday he asks to see us, so I say okay come round this afternoon. The afternoon rolls around and he doesn’t show up, he doesn’t call, I tried calling him 3 times. He finally replies at 9:45pm saying he’s been sleeping and asked if it was too late to come around now, I said yes it’s too late cause she was finally asleep and I wanted to sleep. So he asked if he could see us the following day on the Sunday. I agreed and said fine, then on that day he rings up to say he’s been drinking with the boys but he can still come over if I want (I said no due to the fact of not wanting him being intoxicated around a newborn).

This has happened on several more occasions. With the excuses of going skating with a friend, sleeping during the day instead, going drinking. And yesterday’s last minute excuse of - catching up with his work mate to drop him home and help with his car and play PlayStation.

I know we’re young (22) but he has not paid one cent towards anything for this baby, not one thing. And neither has any of his family. Me and my family have been the sole providers and carers for this baby. His family made my pregnancy very difficult, to the point I was made to feel unwanted and told the baby wouldn’t be welcomed in their house. I often left their place in tears from their words and actions. But now that the baby is here, they just want to see her all the time, but have not apologised for the way they treated me during the pregnancy. His step mum wants me to come around every Thursday so she can see the baby. But I don’t want to. I don’t mind them seeing the baby but I don’t want to spend every Thursday there. They asked to see me twice in hospital and once at their house, I agree to all three times and they ended up cancelling last minute all three times anyways. His mum (who uses drugs) has sent offensive messages since i gave birth. She asked to catch up and I agreed and asked if the weekend suited her (which was in 4 days time, because my back was still hurting from labor and I had trouble walking since I had only given birth the weekend before and was still recovering) and instead of agreeing or asking for another time, she sent an abusive messages saying how she knows I need to recover but people should be allowed to see the baby regardless. But I never said she couldn’t see her, in fact I gave her a time and place and she never said yes. She then sent me a message a few days later saying “sorry if it was an offensive message” which means she knows it was an offensive message to begin with. After that I told my ex I would rather communication with his parents go through him and not me. (Never said they can’t see her, just said communication can go through him).

My ex doesn’t understand why we aren’t together. Which is because the whole pregnancy he was on and off tinder messaging girls, not supporting me during the pregnancy, refusing to go to doctors appointments, not paying for anything, using drugs and calling escort services. Which absolutely broke my heart and knocked my confidence. He doesn’t believe any of what he did with the messages/escort services was cheating (even though we did discuss what qualified as cheating in our relationship in the beginning). He continues to message me everyday multiple times regardless of the fact I have asked him for space and to text less often as we are no longer together. He went to a music festival thing on the weekend and admitted to using drugs there like MD and then trying to OD on Xanax after the concert because of the fact I didn’t want to be with him and he thought that would be a painless way to “go out”. He has always threatened suicide whenever I said I wanted to end the relationship, that’s the only reason I stayed as long as i did. Whenever I found out about new messages to other girls, I would want to leave and he would cut himself on his thighs. I felt so trapped and alone with him.

He is trying to get me to get back together with him and is not respecting the fact I don’t want to. He tells me I’m being unfair to our baby by making her grow up without her parents being together.

He’s telling everyone that I’m being difficult and not letting him see her. But i tried so hard to make our relationship work for so long and I’ve invited him to see her so many times yet he cancels.

Sorry I know this is a long post but i don’t know what to do anymore I feel trapped still, I just needed to get it all off my chest :(