moms of rainbow babies

i need some encouragement. I am 13 weeks pregnant after going through three years of infertility and three early miscarriages (about three years ago I had a chemical at four weeks and another at five weeks then never got pregnant until a few months ago I suddenly got pregnant and lost it 5 1/2 weeks) so hopefully I am carrying my rainbow baby right now. but I have OCD and high anxiety and I feel like I am extremely worried about something being wrong with this baby. i've had a lot of challenges and heartache in my life not including my infertility struggle and I feel like I've gotten to the point where I subconsciously don't believe I can just have a blessing without a challenge. I have a healthy seven-year-old so I know that's not a blanket statement for me but it's been a long time with just lost so I'm really struggling to grasp that this could really be happening and that everything could really be OK. my health insurance doesn't cover chromosomal blood draw testing and I don't want to do an amnio. but I don't want to go without doing any testing because my biggest fear is that there's going to be something wrong and the baby will die and if I'm not prepared how well I handle not bringing my baby home from the hospital. So far I don't have anything specific that would lead me to believe that something is wrong but I guess I feel like because I had three early losses that there's got to be something wrong with the chromosomes and so I guess I feel like there must be something wrong with this one to even if I didn't lose it. I know a lot of people go on to have a healthy baby and I know that a lot of my fear is due to irrational thoughts so I just need some encouragement from people who have gone through this and had the rainbow baby come out healthy and strong. im really starting to struggle with my emotions over this