Weed Problem??💨🍃

So I’ve been sober for about 2 1/2 years. I used to smoke at least twice a week but more if I could or was with friends. I stopped 6 months before a started dating my boyfriend. I had stopped to save money and to basically ween myself off so when I started again my high would hit stronger. Well I never started back up because of my boyfriend. He knows I used to smoke but he doesn’t smoke nor like smoking. Also because he doesn’t because of his grandparents. He’s tried it before with a friend (while we were dating) but never again. I’ve had horrible experiences in the past and had a sexual assault happen due to someone adding another drug to a blunt rolled before I was there. Once I was “stuck” the person raped me. Well my boyfriend also knows this and says that I shouldn’t even want to smoke because of what happened before. In my opinion I think that I shouldn’t base anything off of that. Weed helped me with my PCOS, anxiety, and depression when I’d get overwhelmed. I know not to trust anyone , let alone smoke with anyone else if I ever did smoke again. Well about 6 months into our relationship ( a year sober by then) I’ve been wanting to smoke. Not just because of my anxiety but because it keeps me relaxed and calm obviously. I always think about buying some but my boyfriend says “don’t be addicted” or “what are you , a crack head”. So I never really mentioned it since then. But lately I’ve been so stressed and have had anxiety and panics attacks so bad I’ve had to go to the hospital and I’ve had blood clots bc of stress. My PCOS was never bad until I stopped smoking. Recently I’ve gotten off birth control and I’ve seen a small difference in my periods but that’s all. Basically my boyfriend doesn’t want me to smoke or else he won’t want to be with me because it’s unattractive, it’s a drug, and wasting money. I’ve tried to explain to him ab stress and everything but he doesn’t seem to care that much. I’ve tried to buy some herbal🌿 products for stress or anxiety, anything to help and he wouldn’t allow me to buy it or that if I did he’d tell his family (we live with his grandparents) that I’m trying to do drugs. Then he proceeded to tell his grandparents and we all had a “sit down”🙄. It was honestly annoying and rude considering I confided in him but of course he got upset. My question is , am I over exaggerating or should I get help to move past this??? I really want him to understand but at the same time I know he’d get angry. Please any advice would help, no negative comments 💚