Depression ?

Hey ladies , Every time my husband comes down from Louisiana to see us (he works out there) I’m so happy I feel like my life is complete like if there isn’t all these bad things going on around the world . But once he leaves I feel so depressed I feel like nothing matters I start getting so worried about everything going on . I don’t want to do anything I just want to cry and b in bed I only get up to feed my kids and shower . I get so scared about life , all I wanna do is cry , my mind is constantly on how I’m so scared to die and leave my kids in this world alone on how I know I’m not saved(I’m Christian. Please no hate comments) I feel so bad I HATE feeling this way 😪 what can I do to get to my old self ? Is this how depression feels ? I went to the dr a few weeks ago and the Dr got me on depression meds . I took them maybe 3days and then read online how those meds make you gain weight (I’ve always been on a constant fight with my self about loosing weight). Idk what to do 😪 I needed to vent thank you for reading ❤️