so first off i’m tired, i’m upset and i feel alone.. i’m 17 and i’m on like god knows how much medication, i have to sterelise bottles wash his clothes wash his bottles clean my room wash my clothes and then try and do gym and then feed him and then try bath two times a day and also remember to take 15 tablets a day and also go to school, Because i haven’t been able to bath two times a day sometimes i have now gotten a bit sore down there from my stitches so now i’m on antibiotics, my blood pressure is also high and i’m due to get a blood test tomorrow to see if i have high cholesterol, my son is 5 weeks old, i love him so much but i’m just so tired.. i feel like crying when my boyfriend comes here, he never helps he just wants to sleep and put the baby on camera and show him off to everyone. if it wasn’t for me my son probably wouldn’t be alive because my boyfriend has no clue. my mum said she would help me but she doesn’t. ok it’s not her problem but it’s hard having to do half before school and then after. i’m at risk for a heart attack because my weight which depresses me because i was slim as hell before and i just feel shit. anyways my question is , is it normal for me to feel so much hate towards my boyfriend sometimes? like when he doesn’t call me for a few hours because of work i become desperate to leave him, and i generally just hate him but when we video call or he calls the love comes back but not all of it. What do i do? do i just start acting tough with him and not show him love because he doesn’t help? we have been together 3 years and i’ve already finished with him once when my son was 4 weeks so a week ago but then his brother got involved and got us back together, i also sometimes hate my mom but not a lot only when i ask for help and she says she’s tired. i was on the pill before anyone says this is what i get! i love my son and i’m happy doing stuff for him but it’ hurts knowing he has a father that does nothing but show him off to his family but doesn’t see to his needs, i’m generally desperate to kill myself i think about it a lot but when i see my son i can’t , i lost my dad when i was 8 and i watched him have a heart attack and die in front of me and i wish he was here so i wouldn’t want my son to lose me because of my own choice.