I messed up.

I need advice. Or maybe I need to vent.

Let's rewind about 3 months before Christmas time. My husband and I hit the lowest point in our marriage. We were fighting constantly, struggling financially, and I was truly at the point of divorce. I never thought our marriage would recover. We spent a week living apart. I was on a chat site (mistake 1) and met a really nice guy. We hit it off and had talked daily (mistake 2). I think I liked the attention or newness of it all. I had my doubts that my marriage would work. We kept talking and met up in person a week ago (mistake 3). We had lunch and he kissed me (mistake 4). I have had nothing but guilt ever since.

My husband and I have been able to work through things in our relationship during this time and we have been great. We've been communicating better, though our life struggles haven't gotten much easier. We've been staying with my parents the last 2 weeks before we move 2 hours away for a new job with the state for me and new job with the county for my husband. These are our dream jobs honestly and things are looking up.

If I tell my husband, my marriage is over. If I don't, I live with this for the rest of my life. He didn't deserve what I did regardless of how he treated me in the past. I feel so fucking selfish. I want my husband and my family. We have a 1.5 year old together. We were doing marriage therapy but with all of these changes we've had to save every penny for this move and can't afford it right now. I'm stuck.