Overwhelmed

Feeling really overwhelmed right now. Baby number two, 1 month. I think he has colic (calling midwife tomorrow). Not enough of me to go around and give my 2.5yo the attention she deserves. Then I feel guilty because he was a twin, I lost the other in the first trimester. I'm sad I lost twin b but I genuinely don't think I could have handled twins I'm not a good enough mom. And that makes me feel awful. Just really emotional right now and needed to get that out.