Feeling alone

Last night I found out I was pregnant. We’ve had a feeling I was considering I’m now exactly 3 weeks late (my periods are usually always on time). It was confirmed last night with an at home pregnancy test. I was honestly hoping I missed my period due to stress because I have been way too stressed out these past 3 months. We had the discussion before I even found out I was pregnant that I wouldn’t keep the baby because neither of us can financially support ourselves, let alone a baby (We’ve also only been together for 2 months, not saying that’s bad cause I definitely love him with all my heart but god only knows what can happen to us). Now that it’s real, that I am pregnant, I’m so scared of aborting the baby. Not because keeping it would be the best thing for either me (I have some health problems myself) or the baby but because I feel like after I get it done I’m going to get so depressed & just feel completely alone/guilty. I already deal with depression & it’s so hard to think about what’ll happen after I get an abortion. Don’t get me wrong I want to have kids SO BAD but I really can’t do it now. Why do I feel like I’m going to feel guilty after it’s done? Why is a little voice telling me to keep it even though I KNOW I can’t do it right now? I haven’t told my parents because I honestly don’t know their views on it. I know we all go through different scenarios but can someone tell me what it’s like having an abortion? & how can you mentally prepare for it? Cause right now I’m just freaking out & I’m terrified. Sorry for such a long post.