9 months TTC 1st baby....

AF is due tomorrow. I’ve been anxious and want to test this evening. Should I just wait ? I just feel like seeing a negative hurts but when I see AF it also hurts. I know there are others that have been trying the same amount of time or longer. It’s just been very hard for me. And I don’t have anyone to talk to about how I’m feeling without getting super emotional. Just wanted some advise.

Baby dust to everyone