Okay so let’s say August he told me he cheated on me he begged and pleated for forgiveness and I forgave because he said it was a mistake, an effect of his depression and sex is all he knows to take his pain away.

In October he does it again he said it just happened and it’s his depression and that took me a while to get over but I took him back in January after months of him begging me for forgiveness and me finally getting over everything.

Two weeks ago I went away for a week and while I was away he tells me later he cheated again because he felt alone and depressed. It just happened and that he loves me and as it happened he knew he fucked up and just didn’t want it, she wasn’t like me how we love each other and how spiritual and connected our sex is.

I keep being sad about it and he told me he doesn’t care or have sympathy because he told his truth and he is a man of growth and does not want to be reminded of his mistake. All I want from him is to care but it feel like he doesn’t wanna try and just wants me to forgive him on the spot.

I don’t want to be with him now but I love him and he knows that. We have a great friendship we are well connected and it just feels like besides the cheating stuff everything would be smoothe but he just doesn’t care.

We just had a fight because he made a joke, he said what if my dick was 10 feet and I said idk who would take that but I wouldn’t that’s too much and he said someone will. Idk it made me hurt and we argued because he didn’t understand that I cannot get over the cheating if it just happened point blank and not to make jokes like that.

He then tells me to just deal with it because it already happened and if labels didn’t exist and we were just friends I wouldn’t be hurt. He’s deadass a fuck boy lol

All I’m asking for is advice on what to do, I know I should leave it’s obvious but how do I get over someone I truly love if I feel like I don’t want to.

Part of me wants him to be serious that he’s changing this time but other part is saying he won’t he’s a person of growth that is just fucked up rn and will help

Himself.